


Clean Slate

by RyukaTomo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Crying, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 Bonding (Naruto), Friendship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loneliness, Loss of Limbs, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28258074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyukaTomo/pseuds/RyukaTomo
Summary: Sometimes a fresh start is forced on you.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. Erased

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I've written anything and far longer since I've uploaded something to a public site. So, if you have any helpful tips or anything that you see could be improved here, do let me know! I'm thinking that maybe uploading this will help motivate me to push through the "oops, wrote a bit now its dead to me" thing i usually do.

The ache at the back of his neck rippled through the murky, muddy feeling in his head. First moving his eyes around under their lids and twitching his cheek muscles, he shifted his body from left to right to test the odd, fading numbness. Opening his eyes to the sterile white walls and hazy halogen lamps, the white noise of the various instruments in the room as well as the bustle just outside of the door provided grounding as to where exactly he was waking up.

Turning over mechanically, as if shaking rust off of his unused muscles, he pressed his thumb into the call button mounted on his hospital bed. He brought the same hand up to his head and ran it through the canary yellow hair that had frizzed and matted while pressed to the stiff pillow. Blinking to fully return his eyesight, he took in the rather spartan one-person hospital room, taking a moment to glance outside at the dusky sunset scattering oranges and reds across the village. 

It took only a minute or so for the door to creak its way open to make room for the two bodies on the other side. A silvery haired man with head bowed slightly and shoulders hunched and a shorter young lady with a clipboard in hand and a clean ponytail. 

“Naruto Uzumaki?” the mild nod of the boy was punctuated with a confused glance to the man, “Well, it's nice to see you today, I’m just going to do some routine tests to make sure everything is in order.”

The silence while the woman bustled around, checking machines and shining lights into his eyes, was not quite heavy but burdened with explanations not vocalized. As the nurse checked his pulse and looked over his papers, the man with the silver hair sat down and adjusted his vest and sleeves nervously. Naruto noted absently the anxious body queues, but was distracted when the nurse raised the sheets to check his left foot.

The first thing that was odd was the lack of sensation at the rustling of the sheets. He felt the fabric brush over his knee but nothing further down. The second was the way he saw the silver haired man’s eyes which had avoided him since entry suddenly latched onto his face, as if expecting something from him. Lastly, was that he couldn’t see his foot where it would obviously have to be. The pillow elevating his leg was positioned just above his knee, under his thigh, almost as if presenting what was obviously the mended stump of his leg to the room. 

The horror of it dawned quickly on his face, the rest of the anaesthesia-borne haziness in his mind was blown away harshly by a cold wind of shock. He met the man’s eyes and knew immediately that the man had known and was waiting for him to realize. He looked to the nurse who was apathetically taking down notes on it, before glancing at him briefly and having the grace to give him a look of pity. His agape mouth quickly shut, his tongue falling still in his mouth as his throat constricted and he felt his eyes burn suddenly. The man shifted forward smoothly to place  his hand on the boy’s shoulder, watching as he pressed his head to the pillow and locked his gaze blankly on the ceiling. 

The nurse quickly left, with a word about a doctor coming in to do some final checkups and go over physical therapy. When the door shut with a click, Naruto turned his head to his right to look at the seated man. 

“Kakashi. How are Sakura and Sasuke?”

“They’re also recovering from injuries they received during the mission. None quite as... severe as yours… thankfully” 

“Are they okay?”

“They’re… well, they’re worried about you. Otherwise, Sakura has been spending time with her parents and Sasuke has been... I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he’s insisted that I train him rather than talk.”

“...”

“Naruto, we should talk about what happened.”

The blond boy once again turned his head to the ceiling and allowed the trails of tears to silently track pathways into his hair. 

“I still want to be a ninja. I still want to be Hokage. This doesn’t change that.”

“I know. You think I didn’t know you were going to say that? But it doesn’t change that we need to talk about how you’re handling what happened.”

“I don’t remember anything, Kakashi. I remember insisting on the mission, I remember leaving the gates, and when I try to remember more my head gets hazy and I feel like I’m falling.”

Kakashi frowned and stood. 

“Tell me everything you remember.”

Naruto frowned and stared harder into the ceiling. His muscles started to quiver as if straining under a heavy weight.

“I don’t remember where I live, but I know I live alone. I don’t remember how I know your name, but I feel like I know you... Who... who are Sasuke and Sakura?”

Kakashi’s eyes widened fractionally.

“You said you wanted to be a ninja. That you still wanted to be Hokage.”

Naruto’s facial muscles twitched and the panic that had been leaking into his speech was plateauing. “I felt like I should say it. I don’t really remember what Hokage means though. I think it’s like a leader or something, right?”

Kakashi walked over and placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. The shaking in his arms lessened.

“I need you to take a moment to calm down and think about everything you know. I’ll be right back.”

Kakashi was out of the door in one long stride. 

* * *

  
  


He was cleared to return home by the end of the day.

Kakashi led him through the bustling nightlife of what he remembered to be his home village. The buildings towered many stories up into the now purply-blue sky, the buzz of neon signs and dull roar of layered conversations broke apart the serene view of the sky into lively bursts of energy. The tall buildings and loud back alleys and streets soon gave way far too quickly to parks of forested grassland and small copses of full grown trees. The juxtaposition of forested parks and busy city life followed them through a multitude of streets until the scenery became run-down storefronts and barely kept apartment complexes. 

Kakashi led him to one, up to the top of the building through a messy, stained stairwell, before Naruto began to feel a seed of panic break through the thick layer of confusion. He shifted defensively onto his remaining foot, leaning off of the man who had been helping him limp his way here. He should have taken the wheelchair, he thinks.

“H-hey, I know that… I know that we know each other, but this seems really sketchy. Like.. this is... Where are you taking me?”

Kakashi looked back with worry etched under his eyes, but that worry didn’t carry through to his voice.

“I’m taking you to where you live. It’s not pretty, but you’ve been living here for a few years now, so it's safe.”

Naruto clenched his fist into the front of his jacket and knew that he probably looked as scared and anxious as he felt. He didn’t know how you were supposed to hide that.

“Okay.”

* * *

  
  


Upon waking up the following morning, Naruto had taken it upon himself to rearrange his living space. The apartment was messy, though that felt distinctly like a conscious understatement when he took a moment to examine the state of the kitchen area. The bathroom itself was something he couldn’t countenance living with for any longer than it took to clean it.

The feeling of cleaning up after a stranger didn’t leave him through the entire day-long process of deep cleaning the 3 rooms of the apartment. The thumping of the neighbors and barking of dogs from outside the windows seemed familiar in a way that allowed him to almost entirely ignore them. A holdover from his past he guessed. Occasionally, while looking at the rooms from a particular angle, he would feel a distinct sense of familiarity with the sight. He tried to ignore the feeling as best he could because trying to follow it only made him feel as if he were standing alone atop the ocean. 

The exhaustion of moving around with his missing appendage was potent in a way he wasn’t sure how to put into words. Taking moments to sit and finding ways of leaning into objects to help his balance did little to eschew the burning in his now-dominant leg and the rising frustration in his gut. After pushing it down repeatedly and swallowing back on the perpetual lump in his throat, he was able to make it through the arduous clean.

The feeling of accomplishment that washed over him upon looking over the now-clean apartment was coloured a deep yellow-orange to match the sun trickling through the window and scattering across the worn floorboards. His right leg was burning hotly with soreness and his skin felt grimy with a layer of exertion, so he decided that bathing in his newly cleaned bathroom was only fitting. He made his way, guiding himself along the wall, to the bath and ran the water. He waited for it to warm for a long time, holding his hand under the cold flow until the joints began to get stiff from the chill. The frown pulled downward at his cheeks and he felt a weight sink into his stomach as he shut the water off. 

He decided perhaps getting some sleep might be better, then.

But it didn't come easily.

The day's trials had made drifting off a relatively easy task, however what followed was anything but restful. Vague and formless shades of emotions meshed into his body, sending him into fits of terror that curled at his insides. Memories of pain shooting through him from the back of his head and down his spine. Sensations from his missing appendage, itching and burning at him without any way of easing the aches. Several times he found himself curled up at the top of his bed, forehead pressing into the headboard, skin shiny with cold sweat. Only after crying at the inky black feeling of loneliness and helplessness did he find rest enough to see the sun rise to the bottom of his window.

* * *

  
  


Physical therapy was even worse than cleaning his biohazardous kitchen. The doctor had been informed by his guardian (apparently Kakashi’s position as his instructor was more than just a glorified teaching job) that he planned on continuing a career as a ninja. This meant that he was to be put into a therapy program designed to help active shinobi return to work as fast as possible. The meaning to him was more so that the therapy was harsh, exhausting, and brutal. The thin layer of sweat coalescing into beads of perspiration that ran down his face and past the neckline of the soaked white shirt he was wearing was a constant companion for the length of the session. Kakashi watched from the sidelines with an ever-present line of worry etched between his visible eye and the one hidden. The audience was perhaps the only reason Naruto didn’t outright give up on continuing his past-life’s career right then. 

Naruto had taken to calling the time before whatever accident had happened his “past life.” Whoever he was before now was no longer alive and not even the medical professionals seemed hopeful that the past Naruto would ever return. The term seemed to catch Kakashi off-guard by the mild flinch that he felt as the man let him lean on him on their way here. Kakashi had been oddly silent after that. Naruto didn’t really feel anything at the death of his past self other than what he assumed people felt about hearing about the death of a stranger they hadn’t known. Though he would be lying if he said that there wasn’t a bead of resentment for the stress that his past self’s decisions were putting him through now. 

When the doctor called the session, Naruto’s shirt was nearly soaked through with exertion. Kakashi once again prompted him to accept a temporary wheelchair for the time it took to get around to prosthetic therapy. Any pride about the issue was sapped from him somewhere in the second hour of feeling like he wanted to cry from frustration during the session. 

As Kakashi wheeled him from the hospital and down the oddly quiet streets of Konoha (he had forgotten the name, but Kakashi had mentioned it in conversation somewhere along the way), Naruto looked up at the man. 

“Can I shower at your place?” The quirk of the man’s visible eyebrow sent a bolt through him and he rushed to amend the query, “Well, the water at my place was cold, too cold to shower in. I needed a shower a couple days ago after cleaning up and now I need one even more after  therapy so I was wondering if you could help me out. I don’t know how close we were before.... but you’re the only person I’ve even talked to since I woke up. Well, other than doctors.”

“You haven’t showered since you got home two days ago?” The question felt accusatory but the tone was crafted in a way that didn’t give anything away.

“I was too anxious to go anywhere with hot water. I wouldn’t know where to go or where to look for a place like that. I don’t know how much that would cost or if I need the money I have in my frog wallet thing for like.. bills or something. What if I run into someone who knows the past me? I don’t know what to say to those people.”

Kakashi stayed silent through the whole ramble, looking forward through the streets, now flanked by benches and wooded parkland. The man seemed to be wrestling with something in his head before looking down at Naruto with a smile written into his eyes.

“What kind of guardian would I be if I refused my little genin a warm shower?”

The rush of relief that pushed through Naruto was like a heavy blanket settling over his shoulders and he leaned into the back of the wheelchair. The light breeze that flowed through the trees and rustled the branches brushed over the boy’s cheeks. 

“Thanks, Kakashi-sensei” 

* * *

  
  


The group session the following week was held in the late afternoon, when the sun was beginning to cast darker colors on the leaves. Kakashi was standing with a young girl and a young boy when Naruto arrived. Casting his gaze back and forth from their expectant looks and the grass then to his clenched, shaking hands was becoming too much to handle when Kakashi spoke.

“So. I have some news for the team. I talked to Naruto beforehand to make sure he was comfortable with me revealing some information about his condition following our last mission.” He felt the gazes of his... teammates... snap to his temporary prosthetic. Kakashi had said he would have to make do with this glorified peg leg before something more shinobi-appropriate could be commissioned. “I need you both to be patient to let me finish while I explain everything.”

Sakura and Sasuke (he could at least pin names to them, voices and personalities would have to come later), looked to him. One looked confused but oddly not worried, the other looking suspicious of all things. 

“According to medical reports and speaking to the doctors, Naruto is suffering from multiple ailments. The most obvious of which is his missing limb as I’m sure you both are aware.” Sasuke saw fit to send Kakashi a smouldering glare on that line, “The more pressing matter is regarding his head injury,” Sakura leaned forward, but not before sending a long glance at an indistinct point in Naruto’s hair, “Naruto is suffering from severe post-traumatic retrograde amnesia. The doctor said that the memory loss could be temporary or permanent. As I’m sure you both have noticed, the Naruto we see here is not the Naruto that we are all familiar with.”

Sakura and Sasuke looked to him with mixtures of surprise and other emotions thrown into some chaotic cocktail. Kakashi looked to him for something, probably permission to go on. Naruto nodded hesitantly, locking his eyes back on the ground in hopes of hiding the burning in his eyes.

“I would encourage you to allow Naruto time to feel comfortable around you and to not pin expectations on him. Treat him kindly, but don’t overwhelm him. There’s a lot that is new to him and he needs time to assess all of it. Now, any more information about this is up to Naruto to explain at his discretion. I also wanted to talk about the plan going forward with our team.”

“Kakashi. He will continue to be a part of our team? Even with his... injuries?” The unsure line of questioning came from Sakura, not malicious in intent, but cutting deep. His eyes now dripped tears freely onto the blades of grass like morning dew.

“With permission from the Hokage and the proper paperwork completed, he will continue as a part of Team 7. That’s all the comments I would like to hear about his condition in reference to capability, if you’re worried about his performance I would encourage you to lend him help in adapting to his circumstances.” Kakashi’s stern words brooked no questioning, though Naruto’s heart clenched at the word ‘condition.’ The building shame in his chest threatened to choke the oxygen from his lungs.

“Yes, sir.”

“We will be returning to our daily training routine in two days. There will be some changes to the structure, but I assure you it will be far more rigorous than previously. I would like to do everything in my power to avoid a repeat of our last mission.” Sasuke’s hands balled into fists as he pushed them to his sides. “I will be assessing team strengths and weaknesses and building individual routines for each of you. You will be training not only in our group sessions, but individually as well in your free time. I expect no slacking on these routines. We all now have plenty of reason to want to improve.” Sakura turned her head to look off into the treeline, pointedly away from the group.

“We can speak further on this on our first true day back into our routine training in a couple days. For now, I would encourage you to prepare yourself for what’s to come and to think over what has been said” With that, Kakashi disappeared in a gust of wind and a swirl of leaves. Sakura and Sasuke both didn’t seem to notice when Naruto looked around in confusion at the sudden disappearance.

“Kakashi was different today. More serious and organized than usual. He even showed up on time.” Sakura’s tone was somewhere between despondent and upset.

“I think I can guess why.” Sasuke turned to Naruto and walked over. He waited quietly as Naruto wiped his eyes and met his gaze. “My name is Sasuke. I’m your teammate and I hope we are able to get along”

Naruto nodded and said a quiet ‘me too’ as Sasuke walked past to leave. Sakura looked as if she was trying to hold back tears when she shuffled forward to take Sasuke’s place.

“Hey, uh. My name is Sakura. I hope we can get along,” the last word was slightly choked as Sakura bit down on a sob that threatened to bubble up and out. “I-I’m really sorry. For everything. I-”

Sakura couldn’t finish as she began crying with quiet sobs. Naruto bit his lip tightly and felt as though he should smile. So he did. 

“It’s okay. I can’t really... remember… so we can start clean. Right?”

Sakura calmed enough to meet his eyes again, though hers were red and puffy and stained with tears. “Yeah… yeah.”

Sakura turned to leave and Naruto gathered himself to once again stumble through unfamiliar familiar streets back to his home. 


	2. The Faint Scent of Cherry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got a bit away from me and I just kinda sketched it out once I got past figuring out what I wanted to do over the course of the chapter. I feel like its not too bad, but my main concern is the dynamic feeling natural and Sakura not seeming too weird. I just kinda slammed the post button or else I just would've never put it up, worrying that something was wrong or whatever. Besides all that, give it a read and let me know what you think!

The scattering of raindrops across the windows of the library added a calming white noise to the silence. The occasional cough or scuff of feet against the low pile carpet was muffled against the towering shelves of books that lined the walls and jutted out from every direction. It was almost overwhelming in its labyrinthian immensity but was also comforting for the same reasons. The abundance of texts and knowledge was like a warm blanket as the rain poured down onto the city outside. Naruto had been here for the better part of the day, enjoying the comfort of the atmosphere. 

Soon after settling into the routine of showing up for team training, Naruto had plotted out the routes for all of the necessary locations in Konoha. The grocery store, bath houses (Kakashi wasn’t keen on company, it seemed), laundromat, and the nearest park to his apartment complex. The noisy neighbors often forced him to seek silence elsewhere. Kakashi suggested that he brush up on essential knowledge that he may have lost along with the bulk of his memories, so he added the library to the list. In the intervening weeks, he found that Kakashi’s suggested list of books was woefully inadequate for his needs and began just consuming insatiably the entirety that the library had to offer. Getting lost in books was a predictably easy way of dissociating from himself and his problems. Upon finishing a book, he would be launched back into real life like being dunked in ice water and immediately seek out the next dose of escapism. He wondered idly if this is precisely the outcome Kakashi had expected.

He reached the end of his most recent text and stood, making his way to where he had gotten it from. The streak of pink against the sea of brown book spines was impossible to miss, though Naruto attempted to pretend not to see. He ventured into the aisle to seek out the sequel work to the one about Konoha history he had just finished. When he saw the spot of pink move in his peripheral, he regretted not working up the courage to have Kakashi help him get new clothes. He didn’t really like orange, though he had a sneaking suspicion his old self would take exception to that. 

“Naruto? I didn’t know you were here,” the girl’s voice wasn’t hushed but also was respectfully quiet. He turned to her and summoned a shaky smile that surely looked just as flimsy as it felt on his face.

“Honestly, I’m here quite often nowadays. I’m trying to learn as much as I can so I don’t hold you or Sasuke back any more than I already am,” he managed to fumble out. A part of him cringed at how pathetic not only his voice sounded, but the words themselves. They hadn’t even taken a D-rank mission in the month that he had been returned to active duty. There were no outward signs of anyone being upset about the situation, though his mind manufactured them to fuel his paranoia. Even Sasuke seemed to accept that missions were on hold.

“Naruto… I know you might feel bad about the current situation, but we’re making progress, right? I’m even here for the next book in my reading on field medicine,” Sakura’s voice had reduced in volume to an intimate, pitying tone. Her eyebrows knit together in sympathy and she held up her book. “In fact, would you like to read together? I don’t know how long you plan to be here, but I really need to work on my studying.”

“Um, yeah. That… that sounds good,” he let the words slide off his tongue.

They sat down at an empty table, Sakura across from him and looking at him with the same sympathetic pity as before.

“I know you probably don’t remember, but Kakashi has been way different from before. He was really easy going and rather lazy about teaching us before… uh. Well, he used to make us so mad before, showing up to sessions as late as he did. Three hours after meeting time sometimes!”

Sakura continued on leading the conversation, talking about topics that she thought would make him feel comforted. Talking about his past always felt like hearing about someone else, but she would talk about it like she expected him to reminisce with her. He felt sorry for her because he knew that she was trying to make up for how she had been to him in his past life. He thought that he could tell that she knew that it was too late to make up for anything. Though, he would let her speak to him about things because in a way it did make him feel comforted. Something about her in general made him feel something. She was pretty and her voice was smooth and gentle when she was trying to make conversation. 

“Now, Kakashi is running us ragged. Training is so rough every day, it's a good thing that I gave up on looking good all the time. I’m always so sweaty and nasty afterward. Though it's a good thing for sure. I have a plan of what kind of ninja I’m going to be now and I already feel so much stronger than before.” Sakura let silence fill the space between them after that, a small smile on her face as she looked down at the book she had picked out. Naruto couldn’t help but feel a nub of curiosity wiggle to the surface and the words bubbled out before he could stop himself.

“You’re planning on being a medic?” 

Sakura’s eyes brightened upon hearing him engage with her, even if it was a short question. He wondered briefly why exactly she cared so much about him being friends with her if she had apparently been so horrible to his past self. 

“It was partially Kakashi’s idea. You know how he sat us all down and gave us all options on what we wanted to study individually?” Naruto nodded, a momentary lapse causing him to focus on how the light refracted in her green eyes. “He offered me a few options based on my strengths. Well, mostly just my chakra control. One of them was genjutsu training, which is interesting and I might ask him to help with that eventually. The other was this!” she gestured at the book on medicines that was apparently the second work in the collection. “I um… I wanted to make sure I could help if any of us got hurt again. Plus, any female ninja in Konoha sees Tsunade as a role model, so this seemed right.”

Naruto remembered some of the historical books he read mentioning the sannin. Specifically the events during the second shinobi war that related to their exploits. He thought about the other two members and attempted to conjure a statement about them in order to participate in the one-sided conversation. His guilt over being silent through most of Sakura’s attempts at friendly chats was usually diluted by Sasuke or Kakashi’s presence, but here it was pure and strong. 

“That’s cool. I’m not sure if I have a role model from the sannin I would want to emulate. Orochimaru definitely doesn’t seem like a good choice of idol.” 

“Your family name is Uzumaki, right? That means you would be related to the people from Uzushiogakure. They were famous for seals and so is Jiraiya. That’s cool, yeah? I’m not sure what Kakashi has you studying now, though.” Sakura’s head tilted every so slightly to the right, her hair falling away from her ear to reveal a small daffodil earring. Naruto broke away from the thought of her accessory to process what she had said.

“Oh, uh, Kakashi has had me just… brushing up on general studies, I guess. I lost a lot of important information in the accident, so I need to relearn it. Other than that, physical therapy and getting used to my prosthetic is… kinda tiring.” Naruto glanced at his prosthetic. There were apparently a series of standard issue prosthetics that Konoha ninjas had access to in the case of a lost limb. He supposed that it was understandable, though part of him just figured that only he was dumb enough to try to continue on being a shinobi after losing a leg. The metal was chakra conductive enough to tree walk and was durable enough to withstand a beating at least as much as a regular leg would. It would’ve likely been very expensive if it wasn’t provided as an insurance payout. He didn’t really understand what insurance was, but he figured it was just part of the job.

“That makes sense. Maybe you should look into seals once you’ve caught up on general studies then. There’s not many people who are skilled at it and you may have a knack for it because of your heritage.” Sakura smiled reassuringly and opened her book, effectively marking a hiatus to any further conversation as she started on her study. Naruto was perfectly comfortable with the decision and was content to dig into his own.

When he finished his book, left, and came back with a beginner’s guide on sealing, Sakura gave him a smile that probably would have stopped the rain if they were outside. 

* * *

Naruto attempted to regulate his breathing through his nose as ragged breaths heaved through his lungs one after another. Kakashi was on the other side of the clearing, talking with Sasuke, assumedly offering some advice on his form. The topic of this week’s training was a hard focus on taijutsu, following Naruto’s statement to their teacher that he was feeling more comfortable with his… handicap. Still, the sting of being the weakest on their team by a noticeable gap was deep and painful. Sasuke was understandably an impossible obstacle. Despite his reserved attitude and silent confidence, there was a cold precision to his moves in the ring. However, even Sakura, who he understood was not very strong at martial arts at all, was still able to maneuver her way to victory with relative ease.

Sakura hit the ground lightly next to him, leaning against the same tree he had sat himself by. Her face was flushed and slightly shiny from exertion and her breaths came in long and deep sighs. She offered her canteen to him and he took it gratefully, the familiarity of the gesture heating his already burning face until it radiated warmth. He took greedy gulps out of it and gave a loud hissing exhale after giving it back.

“Kakashi is going to give us a short break and have us fight again. Are you feeling okay?” He didn’t have to look at her to know the look she was giving him. The concern for his well being had only skyrocketed since they had made library study sessions a regular thing. It had really started when she found him on one of the flights of stairs between the 3rd and 4th level grasping for his prosthetic that had tumbled down the stairs after he tripped. Every time he remembered that he was crying with frustration and feebly grasping the railing, the shame that ran through him was almost too much to handle. Her insistence on checking on his well-being was endearing yet reminded him of that shame. 

“Yeah, I’m just tired. Taijutsu is really hard. I should spend more time on training it.” Naruto had mostly been spending time scouring the library for more books on sealing. The works he had first picked up were incomplete and were narrow in scope, mostly pertaining to using sealing as a convenience to ninjas with other areas of expertise. Storage scroll diagrams, useful applications for weight seals, and other things. It was during these team sessions that he felt the repercussions of his single-mindedness. 

“You could ask Kakashi to give you some extra help. I had to ask him for some help last week on that thing I told you about. The scalpel?” Naruto nodded and let out a ‘hm’ of acknowledgement. He looked at her and gave a small smile so she knew he appreciated the suggestion, then looked away into the treeline across the way. “I could also spar with you after training and stuff? I know you shouldn’t overwork yourself, but if you need help…”

For the first time, Naruto felt a sour feeling poke through as a reaction to the statement. He felt like he needed to protect his pride… or that he needed to root out something from her. He wondered what the feeling was until it led him to question why exactly she was acting like this in the first place. He suddenly wanted to know really badly, more than ever before.

“Why do you care so much about me? Do you pity me or feel bad for what happened to me? I really don’t remember it, Sakura, and while my current situation is really difficult, I’m still very much a capable human.” Naruto turned to her and locked eyes with her. The shock on her face didn’t change the way the green of the leaves complemented the green in her eyes. “I like being around you, but you should know that I can’t forgive you for something I don’t remember.”

Just like that, tears sprang to her eyes and trailed down her face. The tremble in her lip preceded her opening her mouth and then closing it, as if thinking better than to speak. She looked away into the grass. Her shoulders shook with arrested sobs and she pawed desperately at her face to wipe away the tears. She brushed her wet hands through the grass to get rid of the evidence and breathed in a shaky gasp. She looked back at him, her eyes puffed and red. “I know. I know that and yet I can’t help but feel the way I do. I feel bad for how I treated you and no matter how hard I try to look past it, I can’t help but see you as your past self. Especially when you’re still wearing that god awful orange outfit.”

“Should I… I mean… I’ve been wanting to get new clothes…” Naruto fumbled the words out as he looked over his clothes, confused at the sudden turn in topic. They were dirty with grass stains and smears of dirt across the knees and elbows. Sakura’s laugh called his attention back to her, her usual giggle was slightly tainted with the watery remainder of her bout of crying, halfway to being a sob. Her smile was bright, though.

“Let’s go get some new clothes after this then.”

“Oh, uh, yeah… that sounds good?” Naruto was still kind of confused by the rapid switches in tone and topic.

“You two, it’s time for another round. Naruto, stop making Sakura cry, though I can respect the strategy behind distracting an opponent before battle.”

* * *

“So, after that, I should be able to manipulate how much force will come out of it on activation.” Naruto finished his explanation, pointing to the last diagram in his notes on modifying weight seals. He looked up to Sakura to see her reaction to it and took a second to appreciate the way her face scrunched up in an effort to process what he said. “I promise, it's really not so difficult to understand once you’ve read the books, but it's as far as I’ve gotten.” 

“I think I get it, though you shouldn't undersell how impressive it is. You’re basically modifying classic seals to do what you want them to without any help.” 

“Well, I still haven’t tried it out. It could be dangerous and I want to run it by Kakashi before I give it a shot.” Sakura nodded at that and looked off into the distance. The breeze that drifted over the front steps leading up to the library was chilled with midwinter cold, despite the weather in Konoha always being nothing less than summer-y. “How is field medic stuff going? We study together but I don’t really know what you’re up to.”

“Ah, it's mostly civilian first aid practices. There’s a lot of complicated stuff to do with healing without even involving chakra. I’ve been studying the diagnostic jutsu, but it takes a lot of experience to understand what it tells you… if that makes any sense. Like, it feels a certain way when you find something wrong, but it takes experience to understand what it means.” Sakura shrugged. “Ino suggested that I should try learning about poisons and stuff from her. Or ask Hinata for help with balms, since she apparently has some experience with that.”

The names didn’t really mean much to him. He had heard about Ino from Sakura at some point. They were friends, reunited while he was in the hospital comatose. He was glad Sakura had a friend to support her outside of the team, though he didn’t know anything about her otherwise. Hinata had been among the few names, Ino included, he had woken up to in the hospital. She had left flowers for him along with a note that she hoped for his recovery. He wanted to thank her for it, but he didn’t know if she had done it as just a formality. Sakura had said that the only reason Ino left anything was because her family owned the flower shop, so he didn’t want to go out of his way to thank the girl for something that was just an off-handed gesture. 

“Sakura, did I get along with anyone outside of our team?”

The girl looked at him, seeming a bit taken aback by the topic. She knew he preferred to think about the present. She settled and thought about it for a moment. She frowned and the edge of her lip quirked downward at an odd angle.

“I don’t think so. You… were pretty lonely, I think. Though I didn’t notice at the time. You initially failed the academy graduation exam and I don’t remember anyone talking about consoling you or anything. You and our academy teacher, actually, seemed to get along pretty well after everything.”

“Iruka?”

“Yeah.”

“He left me some flowers in the hospital, I think. Hinata did as well. I know you said Ino only left me flowers because of her family, is Hinata the same way?”

Sakura took another second to think about what he said. She tilted her head back and looked into the sky. The sun was partially obscured by grayish clouds, though it didn’t seem like it would rain. He appreciated the way her hair fell away to expose the pale skin of her neck, his eyes following her jawline.

“No, I think if she left you flowers, it was probably because she cared about you. Maybe you should talk to her and ask her yourself.” Sakura looked at him and he blinked and glanced away, a mild feeling of embarrassment flowing through him at almost being caught staring. She shoved at his shoulder and he looked back at her. She was smiling in a teasing way. “You haven’t even met her and you’re blushing about it.”

“I was staring at you and felt embarrassed.” He said the words matter-of-factly before he could think better of it. He watched as her face flushed and she loosed a shocked ‘oh’ before turning back to the sky. He realized what he said and pressed his palm to his cheek to feel the heat in his face. “Don’t know why I admitted that.”

“You always did say you thought I was pretty.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah, I guess some things never change.”

“You really think I should talk to Hinata?”

“Yeah, just don’t do what you just did to me, she’ll probably faint.”

“Huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah! Around the same length as the last chapter, though I busted it out much quicker since I had an idea of the subject matter. Next chapter will be similarly themed, though focused on Sasuke. Please Look Forward To It™ .
> 
> Also, if you feel like something felt a bit off or there were some things you think might be problems (or just plain ol' typos and stuff, i dont really have anyone to beta read this stuff), please do let me know!


	3. A Hint of Nightshade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm just slamming the post button on this one as soon I give it one last short proofread because I don't wanna hesitate too much. Second, third, fourth guessing myself and all that. I'll probably come back and fix it when I inevitably read through it again sometime. This one also got a bit away from me, even though I took a few breaks in between scenes. I hope it doesn't feel too jumpy. Please read and lmk if you enjoyed it!

The wind rushing through the trees almost sounded like waves crashing on the beach. The sky above was a pure blue with streaks of white cirrus clouds. Sunshine shone down brightly but with no real harshness, the breeze combining with it to create a comfortable springtime air. The grass tickled at his ears and he breathed in the familiar scent of cherry wafting through from a nearby park. A feeling of content happiness blossomed in his stomach as if a patch of marigolds were about to sprout from his bellybutton. A smile tugged at his lips and he sighed.

“You should probably get up. We don’t have much time left.”

Sasuke’s face broke into view and his face was at a careful neutral, though something indicated a sense of impatience. The serene peace fell away and Naruto grunted while lifting himself up to his feet. Naruto wasn’t sure which Sasuke was talking about, the time left in the session or until the chunin exams to take place in the middle of the year. It was just transitioning out of winter and into spring, so there was still yet a handful of months before most teams would even be preparing for it. Naruto brushed at dirt stains he knew were on the rear of his pants and stretched the shoulder he had hit on the ground. Sasuke was never really hesitant to sweep his bad leg from under him during spars, though Naruto knew it was to try to get him to cover that glaring weakness. No one else would have any issues with taking advantage of it either.

“There’s still a lot of time before the chunin exams, Sasuke. We’ve been training harder than any of the other teams by a mile, I asked Hinata and Ino. They said our routine is crazy compared to theirs,” Sakura offered from the sideline. She was sitting against a tree in the shade, nursing a nearly empty canteen, her hair tied back loosely from her face. 

“Our peers aren’t going to be the only ones there, though. We’ll be facing other villages and whatever the examiners throw at us. Even Kakashi wants us to pick up the pace.” The tone Sasuke gave was of a tightly reigned horse that was begging to break into a gallop the second it was free. He was getting better at communication at Kakashi’s request and had been working on his temper, though Naruto knew that Sakura was still a surefire way to get past all of that effort. 

“You’re right. I’ve not been training as hard as I need to. I have a long way to go.” Naruto was experienced at admitting his weakness, now months after the accident. His physical capability was apparently back to where he was before the accident according to Kakashi, but that felt like being told he made it to the starting line. Sakura and Sasuke by comparison were already a few laps in. He wanted to at least feel like he was on par with his teammates, other teams and other villages were another issue entirely.

Sasuke’s face soured at the comment and Naruto wasn’t sure why what he said garnered that reaction. He glanced at Sakura who had fallen into the same look of pity, though he knew she respected him more than before. He wanted to ask the boy in front of him what it was that he said, but instead settled into a stance. Now that he was at the starting line, Kakashi had seen fit to introduce him to a man that was likely to be the death of him. Gai was an amazing taijutsu teacher and had built almost from scratch a style that would favour his particular needs, however he was also too much. Just… way too much.

“All we can do is keep working, right? I’ll make sure by the time the exams come around, I will be good enough.”

Sasuke’s face settled into neutrality again and he dropped into stance. Sakura at the sidelines gazed silently at the two, a smile alighting on her face. Naruto wasn’t sure exactly what had her smiling, but it was always a welcome sight. The scuffs of sandals against packed dirt broke the brief silence as Sasuke launched himself at Naruto. He had learned to take initiative since the new Naruto preferred to react. 

The feint of the right hand swinging to Naruto’s cheek was followed quickly by Sasuke dropping down and sweeping his legs. Naruto hopped up, legs tucking under him before the prosthetic side lashed out in a snap kick to the bottom of Sasuke’s chin. It connected, though lessened by Sasuke leaning back from the blow and flipping away. Naruto dashed in to take advantage of Sasuke getting his bearings after the flip and launched a straight jab at the boy’s stomach. The jab was met with a palm, Sasuke’s right hand grabbing just below his elbow and turning on his heel. Naruto’s chest slammed into Sasuke’s back, bumping him up into the air and Sasuke attempted a full throw onto the ground. Naruto quickly placed a foot onto the black haired boy’s shoulder at the apex of the motion, kicking off and breaking the hold. He ducked right as he landed facing away from the Uchiha, feeling a punch swipe over his head from the back. He swept his legs back and felt them slam into his opponent’s ankles. 

Sasuke’s hand dropped to catch himself before he hit the ground, using the hand as a pivot point to turn his body full horizontal and launch a kick at Naruto’s head, who took it full on and hit the ground dazed.

Sasuke stood up and leaned over to the blonde boy, offering out a hand. Naruto’s head was swimming from the strong kick and he missed when reaching to take the hand. Sasuke opted to grab the boy’s extended forearm and tug him up.

“You are getting better, Naruto. You landed a few hits on me and almost got me with that sweep. I’m glad you’re looking out for attacks on your leg as well.” Sasuke’s encouragement was something else of a new development over the past month or so. Naruto knew that it was probably another recommendation by Kakashi, but there was a distinctly unnatural feeling about the positivity. Sasuke was obviously not a happy person, so to receive kindness from the boy felt like not being able to see the bigger picture. 

“Thank you. One day, I’ll get a win on you.” Naruto felt like competitive spirit fit better and the smirk on the other boy’s lips told him the same. Much more natural.

“Geez, stop holding hands and one of you tag me in.” Sakura walked up and Sasuke shrugged and went to go sit by the same tree she was at. Sakura settled into her stance quickly, in a rush to get into the fight. Naruto felt a twinge of fear run through him and he momentarily wished for Sakura to go back to being gentle with him. 

* * *

“The past me must have been lonely.”

Sakura had failed to show up that day for their extra training they did without Kakashi. They didn’t really have a way of contacting her, so they continued with training as planned. The sun was tucking itself behind the treeline, the sky lighting up with oranges and the blues darkening to grayish indigoes. The clearing was darkening gently and Sasuke and he sat separately from one another in the center. The isolation of the two of them, quiet as they were, led his mind down an ever darkening path. 

“Why?” Sasuke’s question was oddly calm. Devoid of anything to give away emotion, he prompted explanation with a hard gaze. Naruto’s anxious mannerisms, chewing at the inside of his cheek or twitching the muscles that led to his prosthetic, stopped as his mind tossed about for a reason for the statement.

“When I got back to my apartment, there weren’t any pictures. Kakashi and Sakura both said I didn’t really talk about having friends. I don’t know my mother or father. When I feel lonely it feels… familiar. Like it's something my mind is used to feeling.” Naruto didn’t mention the nights where he would just stare at his empty apartment from those familiar angles, where the feelings of loneliness were so potent that he had to look out the window just to be sure there were still people in the village. 

“I see. Does it bother you?”

Naruto closed his eyes and felt the way the air touched his skin. He breathed lightly and thought. It bothered him, but how much? 

“I sometimes think perhaps I was meant to die in the accident. There was nothing left for me here except a barren apartment. I’ve noticed that the villagers seem to scorn my presence when I’m in public spaces. I don’t know why, so it feels as if society itself is saying that I shouldn’t have lived.” Naruto bit at his lower lip to stave off the tossing ocean of feelings in his chest. “My past life must have been so lonely because I’ve only lived his life for months and I feel as though I might drown in it.”

“Your vocabulary has expanded a lot.” Sasuke wasn’t looking at him anymore and looked like he was thinking really hard, though it was veiled behind something else gossamer thin. “Your past life was really loud. He was angry at the world, I think. Wanted to prove it wrong. He thought of me as his rival. You’re smarter than him. He couldn’t get himself to sit and read if you said it would make him Hokage right then and there. You’re calmer and more open about what you’re really feeling. But I think you’re also a lot weaker.”

Naruto’s chest felt full to the brim. The roiling waters were spilling over the rim of whatever was holding back the raging tide. He looked at the grass. “Yeah,” he said, though it came out choked.

“I was weaker than him too, so don’t feel too bad about it.” Sasuke’s voice was now so bitter that it sounded almost entirely different. Naruto looked at him, shocked at the change in tone, and he could see the fiery scowl on his face. “I let my emotions rule me. I let someone tell me that being angry all the time and hating everything was the way to be strong. I still feel that way and I’m struggling to fix it. He never had that issue. He turned his hatred and anger and sadness and loneliness into something productive.”

Sasuke stood quickly and walked over to Naruto. “We can’t compare ourselves to him anymore. He’s gone and it's my fault. So we are going to get strong to make up for him being gone.” Naruto stood as well. Sasuke looked at him for a moment and seemed to reach a conclusion. “I’m going to go home”

Sasuke walked out of the clearing and Naruto looked at his back as he left. The conversation hadn’t gone the way he expected it would go. 

The next day, during early morning training, Sasuke nodded at him as if they had some kind of mutual secret. Sakura seemed confused and Naruto couldn’t help feel sympathy for her because he felt the exact same. Kakashi said that they were going to be working on ninjutsu and pointed out that Naruto and Sasuke were chakra powerhouses for their age, Naruto especially. It clicked in his mind what Sasuke meant by the small gesture and he felt like a weight was suddenly placed on his shoulders. He looked over to Sasuke and gave a shaky smile.

Seeing Sasuke launch a massive fireball into the sky was something of a shock to the system. Watching Kakashi summon a mythological dragon made of rushing water only served to further explode Naruto’s expectations for a single human’s potential. Since he had woken up, he had only seen Kakashi use minor ninjutsu for disappearing or replacing himself with objects. Naruto wondered briefly if ninja should have such crazy flashy techniques, but he couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement at doing something like that. 

Kakashi had made quick work of giving them guidance on the types of techniques they should be working towards adding to their arsenals. He handed out chakra paper almost as if they were information pamphlets. Nothing seemed to phase the man as Sakura’s paper indicated water and earth, Sasuke’s indicated fire, and Naruto’s indicated wind. Sakura found a lot of low energy but subtly useful ninjutsu recommended to her while Sasuke’s were almost entirely aimed toward assasination. Precise, deadly, and efficient. Naruto’s however were all flash. Walls of wind, air pressure bullets, movement enhancements. Something about it felt distinctly off. The excitement faded to confusion. Is this what being a ninja was? Being given a bunch of flashy moves according to what affinities you were born with?

“Kakashi, what’s it actually like to fight as a ninja?”

The man paused for a moment and looked at Naruto. Naruto’s mind was racing to collect his thoughts for a coherent argument. Sasuke and Sakura seemed to be just as caught off guard as well. They seemed to be expecting this sort of training to happen eventually. This is what they were taught happened when you became a ninja. You learned techniques to throw around until you completed your mission.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re getting all these jutsu, but are we supposed to use these? Is being a ninja about fighting with big, impressive moves? I just… can’t see myself wanting to fight anyone like this.”

Kakashi took a moment to think, exaggerating it by tapping a finger to his chin and ‘hmm’-ing. He crouched down to look at Naruto at eye level. 

“Ninja are supposed to be experts at what they do. Some focus on stealth, or traps, or medicine, combat, information gathering, or whatever else. We can afford to specialize in the ways we want, however we need to be able to perform in any of these categories to some extent. You’ve been studying sealing, yes?” Naruto nodded slowly and Kakashi let out a noise of appreciation. “That’s a very tactical and strategic field if you want to engage an opponent. Tell me, what would you do if you had time to prepare for an engagement?”

Naruto thought for a long while. His mind was quickly gathering for him all of his combat and planning knowledge and putting it at the forefront of his mind and he was sorting through it as fast as he could. He pursed his lips and tried to keep his mind from focusing on the eyes that were burrowing into him. 

“I would try to assess what opponents I would be facing. Their skills, mannerisms, behaviors, attitudes, weaknesses, strengths. I would try to predict their movements and place trap seals in the most likely places for them to tread. I… would… well. After that I would engage them in taijutsu to try and push them into one of my seals.”

“And if they avoided your seals? What if they outmatch you in taijutsu and don’t give you any ground?”

Naruto allowed himself to fully frown and he started to see the issues with his objection.

“I understand what you’re feeling because I felt the same way. Ninja’s to me were stealthy, smart, and subtle. Big explosions and massive lightning bolts seemed overkill and flashy. However, the more tricks you have up your sleeve, the more likely you are to surprise an opponent. Surprise is always your greatest weapon.”

Kakashi stood up and held out a hand for his paper and he gave it to him. After writing something on it, Kakashi handed it back and the list was almost twice as long. Gusts of wind from random directions, voice throwing, more options for subtlety. 

“Now, I want all three of you to train these moves individually. We’ll be practicing these moves at the end of the month in sparring matches, so I want you to be creative with the ways you learn to use these techniques, because you’ll want to be able to surprise your teammates. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask each other for help if you’re stuck. For this specifically, come to me for questions first, but there are some things even you might be able to think up that I wouldn’t. Just be smart about it.”

* * *

“Hey, Sasuke. Can I, um, ask for your help?”

Sasuke glanced at him, placing his utensils down and forgetting his food for a moment. Naruto swallowed at the dryness in his throat. Sasuke made him more nervous than anyone else. He pulled out a paper and put it on the counter of the stall they were sitting in. The loud bustling city streets behind them were only barely blocked from view by strips of cloth dangling from the overhang of the shelter. The smells wafting from the other food stalls and masses of bodies roaming down the streets were drowned away by the smell of cooking rice as Naruto and Sasuke ate their omusubi. Sakura had told him this would be the best way to get Sasuke away from his training mindset. 

Naruto unfolded the paper and slid it between them before pointing at the seal array that spread over the top half, the bottom scrawled with scratchy notes. Sasuke gave him a quirked eyebrow before letting his eyes roam to the notes below.

“So, uh, I’ve been studying seals.” Sasuke let out a ‘hn’ as if laughing at the obvious nature of the statement. “A-and I wanted your input on an idea I’ve had in mind. I’m rather slow in combat. My prosthetic doesn’t really have an operational ankle and as much as I condition my muscles, I’m not as nimble as I wish I were.” Sasuke nodded. He had noticed the improvement Naruto had made to hide his weaknesses, but they were still there. “Well, the way trap seals can work is that they activate by releasing chakra along a set of parameters that can, if done right, mimic chakra pathways and create jutsu. Kakashi’s list of jutsu included a jutsu for a controlled release of wind from any direction within a certain radius and also a powerful gust of wind generated from the mouth.”

Sasuke had gone back to eating, though keeping an eye on the notes toward the bottom of the page. Naruto’s long winded explanation was going to end with him eating stale food if he waited for him to be done.

“I combined the ideas in a way. The random gust is too weak but can come from any direction and the one from the mouth is powerful, but has a specific parameter for the release. I made this array as a mixture of the two techniques as an improvised propulsion mechanism. This combined with the technique Kakashi gave me would result in me being much faster in hand-to-hand scenarios.”

“So why are you telling me this? This seems like exactly the type of thing Kakashi would want you to use to surprise me in our spar coming up in a couple weeks.” Naruto knew that Sasuke probably had already gotten a basic grip on everything Kakashi had given him and was working on mastering some for creative use. Instead of doing that, Naruto was obsessing over this one idea and had exhausted every book on sealing the library had. Sakura could probably make some basic seals now just from being exposed to him during their library sessions. 

“Well, I need your help because… um. I was wondering if you had any sealing supplies. I… well… we haven’t been doing missions. I live alone and pay for my groceries. My stipend from the village only goes as far as monthly bills and cheap food. This idea would take a lot of supplies and I… I don’t have any money and- well… I just-”

“I’m sure there are sealing supplies somewhere in my clan compound. I’m sure you’ll need someone to spar against to test out this idea as well and there are training areas in the compound too.” Sasuke took another bite and didn’t even look his way. Naruto was shocked into silence, his food going untouched and the cook behind the counter smiling to himself amusedly. “I’m your teammate and Kakashi said that we should support each other. I know how I seem and Sakura might have said something about how I was in the past, but I’m trying to improve. Seeing you the way you are now helps with that.”

Naruto felt stinging prickles at the edges of his eyes and a lump rising in his throat. He took a large bite of his food and chewed it quickly, swallowing it one go to smother the tide of emotions. Sasuke seemed to remember himself and went quiet for the rest of the night.

* * *

The Uchiha compound was almost like going to an old shrine. The buildings were all quiet, the pathways all empty, and the air seemed as if it had been years since it was stirred. It was pushed all the way to the edge of the village and Naruto remembered his readings on the second hokage’s vendetta, noting the way it made the area feel tucked away and isolated. 

Sasuke would always be at the entrance to the compound like a tour guide, walking with him to the house he stayed in where Naruto would work on his prototype seals. Sasuke would always busy himself with something new every day, sometimes making tea or sometimes cleaning around the house, as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. Occasionally, Naruto would ask Sasuke to lead him to the training area and they would test out his new seals until Naruto decided it was time to reconfigure something. 

Sasuke’s mood seemed arrested and just short of openly hostile every time they would meet. Naruto never felt unwelcome, but as if he ought to tread lightly lest Sasuke reprimand him. The Uchiha boy’s advice ranged from short and concise to none at all and Naruto wondered if this was getting a peek at what was behind the veil that Sasuke seemed to wear every time he showed up for team training. 

The day that Naruto finally achieved what he would consider a complete product, Sasuke seemed almost relieved. Tension seemed to lift from his shoulders and he congratulated Naruto for the achievement, though it seemed partially aimed at himself for getting through the process. 

“Sasuke… I wanted to talk to you about something as well.” Immediately, the walls slid back into place and the tension reasserted itself in Sasuke’s stance. “I, um, noticed some things about… your…” Naruto paused, his hands grasping at each other. His stance shifted from side to side and he couldn’t meet his teammate’s gaze. “Your body.”

Sasuke’s face contorted oddly and the boy’s stance became so close to aggressive that Naruto thought for a moment that he was worried about damaging something in the house. Naruto held up his hands and he felt his face warm up.

“Naruto, you should probably shut up.”

Naruto felt his throat close up and panic began to well in his chest. He put his hands down and fisted them so tightly in his pants that the knuckles turned white to contrast against the black of the fabric. 

“You have a lot of training scars. A lot. A-and… a lot of scars that don’t look like they were from training.” Sasuke stood up and stalked up to the chair where Naruto had learned it was safe to sit after watching Sasuke’s reactions over the weeks. 

“I don’t need your pity. I know you and Sakura have been running a pity party for each other for months now, but I don’t want in. She can be soft and nice to you all she wants, but I know what my place is. You can’t help me and I don’t expect you to, so don’t try to.” Sasuke’s voice was cold and emotionless, but thrummed with what lay beneath the words.

“I want you to know tha-”

“That what? You’re here for me? That you’re available to talk to me about my problems? That you want to be my friend?” Sasuke had grabbed the front of Naruto’s shirt and pulled him up to standing eye level. “You’re my teammate and I’ll work with you, but my problems outside of that aren’t your business. I knew taking you here was too much, but I was trying to listen to our idiot teacher. Like he knows about interpersonal skills any better than I do.”

“Sasuke I-” 

“No, shut up.”

“I’m so-” 

“Naruto, I’m tellin-”

“No! You shut up! I’m sorry!” Naruto grabbed back at Sasuke’s shirt and pushed the boy away. The rant had once again ignited that sour feeling he had felt with Sakura, only now it was a burning, acidic anger. “I’m sorry for trying to acknowledge your pain! I see how you look at this place when you walk around and I know what you’re feeling. I want you to know that you’re not the only one. You don’t have to tell me anything!” Naruto pulled at his pant leg, exposing the prosthetic and where it met his flesh, and further. Lines of neatly placed cuts of scarring led up the thigh and past the point where he had stopped pulling. “I hate it too! I feel the burning of what I lost. My memories, my fucking leg, my parents. I don’t remember anything but the- the void. It hurts. I want you to know that I feel it too.” Naruto’s eyes were flooding tears down his face, scattering on the flooring of the living room. “I’m sorry that I overstepped your boundaries, but I- I just..”

“You thought you could help. But you can’t.” Sasuke’s hands were balled at his sides and his teeth were bared and clenched tightly. “You can’t. I can’t help you either. We’re both broken. I need to fix myself and I need to do it alone. I guess in the end you are stronger than me anyway because you are able to accept help. I can’t. I won’t. Leave.”

“Sasuke, plea-”

“Naruto. You’re my teammate. This won’t affect our professional relationship, so just leave.”

Naruto’s eyes incessantly supplied more and more tears, staining his cheeks and dragging gasps of air into his chest. The boy turned and walked out the door.

Sasuke angrily collected the sealing supplies and shoved them into the first closet he found.

* * *

The feeling of his clothes lifting from his body was unfamiliar in an almost exhilarating way. It felt like he was falling or flying, the air driving it way under his clothes. The technique was amazing every time he used it and he was glad to have spent so long practicing and practicing with it until it felt like second nature. 

The seals were placed at the balls of his feet and just above the backs of his elbows. He was still slightly anxious about putting them into action, but he was comforted by the thought that he had already been practicing with previous prototypes for nearly a month. 

Sakura’s performance before him had been impressive for where he thought the girl was in her skill range. She had kept any and all knowledge of her practice from him and he knew that she probably said even less to their black-haired teammate. During the spar, her evasive skills had seemed to be way far above where he had thought possible in the intervening weeks of improvement. When he looked closer, he could see it wasn’t her dodging, but Sasuke’s strikes were missing. Subtle genjutsu, then. Her arsenal had expanded to include senbon and ninja wire, providing her with a larger range of attack options. She made use of basic academy techniques in ways that showed almost full mastery. Naruto felt a bit of anxiety about their match up, but Sasuke was who he was up against next.

The boy had yet to show any of his new skills, much to Sakura’s frustration. They had reached a stalemate, Kakashi calling it before either of them could tire themselves out before training was done. He admonished Sasuke lightly, the boy casting a short look in Naruto's direction. Naruto knew exactly what was going on now. 

As the two boys positioned themselves, Kakashi stood with Sakura and offered her some positive notes and some options for improvement. She nodded and met eyes with Naruto as she listened to Kakashi speak. She nodded to him, almost a perfect mimicry of Sasuke, and he felt his face burn. 

“Alright, you two. Go ahead.” 

Sasuke in keeping with his new approach made the first move, dashing in and throwing a straightforward jab from the outset. Naruto extended a hand to catch it and watched as the jab passed through. He swivelled his head around to see another Sasuke to his right complete a set of hand signs and launch a set of individual fireballs at him. They each arced around, some aimed to hit him, others aimed for where he might dodge. Naruto jumped back to buy himself time to sign, watching as Sasuke ran at him from behind his flame projectiles to follow up. Air billowed in the boy’s lungs as he released it in a bullet of dense wind, billowing up again and again as he made one for each of the arcing firebolts. 

The conflagration that followed forced Sasuke back from his own technique, the heat from it leaving the skin of his face feeling tight. He pulled out some shuriken as the fireball swelled and began to die down. Naruto burst through the flames, trailing fire behind him like glowing streamers as the swirling air around him momentarily bolstered the heat. The boy was up in the air, lifted by the lightened feeling of the ongoing wind technique and his new propulsion seals, aiming an axe kick at the Uchiha. Sasuke loosed his held shurikens, watching as they flew past his target and Naruto continued his descent. Naruto slammed down and felt the strain on Sasuke’s forearms, which the boy had brought up to block the kick, and he used the leverage to flip away. Pulling at his arms, he felt them meet resistance and saw faint lines of ninja wire leading to Sasuke’s mouth who smirked. Flames lit up along the wire, racing down them like electricity, before swallowing Naruto up.

Sakura made a vocalization from the sidelines that Sasuke didn’t understand, followed by a low murmur from Kakashi which had her quiet down. Sasuke released the ninja wire and the flames died away rapidly, showing an empty field with large scorching along the remaining patches of grass. Sasuke pulled out a kunai, held in a back hand, and held his stance. He whipped around when he heard a scuff of feet only to be met with more air. 

The sweep at his legs came as a shock from behind, though he caught himself in the same way as before. He swiftly spun himself around, launching a sweeping kick where the attack must have come from, feeling a satisfying thump of striking flesh. He flipped up, throwing another snap kick at his opponent, who looked fresh and unmarked. It landed, scuffing the boy’s cheek with dirt and buying him some space to leap back. His foot touched the ground and saw something light up from beneath him and he was suddenly in the air. He casted about to regain his bearings to land when he felt a kick slam into his stomach from below. It was followed by a punch that felt like being hit with a sledgehammer and he felt his mind grow dizzy from confusion. He continued taking strikes in the air and he felt an inkling of panic before he shoved it down and made a sign. The log he replaced was kicked to the ground and he looked up to see Naruto propel himself away, landing at the center of the clearing. 

Kakashi held his hand up and both boys stopped immediately. Sakura beside him looked frozen with shock and Naruto couldn’t help but feel a vicious sense of accomplishment. The shame of being weak and the desperation to catch up faded to the background and he gave Sakura a smile. Her eyes widened more and he saw tears come to her eyes before she smiled back. He turned to Sasuke who had the look of frustrated defeat written across his face. The boy walked up to him, momentarily forgetting their sensei and other teammate to focus entirely on just the two of them.

“You beat me even though I thought I knew what you were going to hit me with. Don’t look down on yourself anymore. I’ll beat you next time, so don’t get too proud of yourself either.” Sasuke smirked and made to walk away before Naruto grabbed his arm.

“You said the old me saw you as a rival and that I’m smarter than that now. You saved your new skills while fighting Sakura in order to save the surprise for me. I think we’re both dumb, because we obviously still see each other as rivals.” Sasuke looked pensive for a moment, then let out a ‘hn’. With that, the Uchiha walked away to meet Kakashi who began talking with him about improvements, not wasting time on platitudes. Naruto thought for a moment and confirmed something for himself. 

Competitive looked way better on Sasuke than supportive.

Sakura walked up to him and offered him congratulations and asked some questions about what happened. He answered the questions, watching as she would think and ask more questions. He felt warmth heating up his chest as he thought about his teammates. The void left by his memories, his parents, his missing appendage, and everything else was filled just a bit. He asked Sakura why she looked like she was gonna cry earlier and she looked at him for a second, pausing to think about if she should say it or not.

“You looked like your past self. Your smile was so bright and confident that it made me feel like you were going to be okay. It made me happy.”

Naruto felt something foreign wash over him as he looked at her and the urge that overtook him outpaced his mind by just enough. He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug and let out a big laugh. He let the faint scent of cherries fill up his head and breathed it all out before pulling away.

“Thank you.”

Sakura smiled at him in that way that melted him and she said, “Well, don’t thank me yet. Our spar is coming up and Sasuke isn’t the only one who saved you some surprises.”

Suddenly the smile was a lot more intimidating. How did she do that? 

Maybe he could fake being sick. Or maybe hurt?

“Alright, let's get this last one out of the way so we can get on with other things.” Kakashi said from the sidelines. Sakura dropped into her stance with that sweet smile on her face and Naruto couldn’t help but feel trapped.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo, yeah. This one was about double the previous chapter in length. A lil' bit less. I know some people write like 25k words per chapter, but this one felt like it was going long so I wanted to cap it off before it became too much. 
> 
> Sasuke is hard for me to write, I'm realizing. I really like writing the dynamic between Naruto and Sasuke because I feel like there's a lot of room for some cool character interaction, but it's also hard to write realistically and have them not just blow up.
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know if there are any problems, typos, etc. Also, please lmk if you enjoyed it! Posting this stuff publicly reminds me of when I used to do this more and reviews were always my favorite part. I hope you have a good day!


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